To Whom It May Concern:
Dear Concerned Strangers, Well Meaning Persons of Unknown Identities, and Informative Nameless Faces in Public Places,
I know I am new at this, I know I do not have it all together nor am I a professional by any means. But I have learned a thing or two along the way that makes me somewhat fit to be a mother. But I wanted to take the time to thank you for all of your advice.
I thank you kind lady for reminding me how to dress my little boy for the weather. I know that since it has gotten slightly cooler in the last two weeks it must be time to pull out the parka and gloves. What was I thinking? Of course since it is now September and the temperatures are plummeting into the 70's I shouldn't be dressing Harrison in overalls and polo shirts as he might catch a cold.
And speaking of colds, thank you kind ma'am for your advice on about needing to be more swift to wipe up drool as this could cause horrible and unsightly chapping of his lips and chin, but by taking your finger (and who knows where it has been) and wiping his chin for me, well, don't you think a slobbery chin is much better than spreading germs? I really don't know you from Adam (or Eve in this case), so please tell me how it is ok to be putting your fingers on my baby's face? I'll take the drool over a shared cold, but thank you just the same. 
And as to your concerns kind sir in the condiment aisle. I am grocery shopping for two grown adults as well as a baby. All that stuff in my cart is not just for my baby. I do have a few things in there for him, but for the most part those grocery items are for the grown ups in the family. But thank you for reminding me just in case I forget that babies cannot have pickles, tomato sauce, or tortilla chips. But who knows, my mind could slip and I might find myself giving Harrison a bag of Cheetos while I finish my grocery shopping.
And I know how hard this face is to resist! He is one very smiley, happy, outgoing baby! But sometimes, and I hate to tell you this strangers, but he does get fussy. He tires of being out in public, or long grocery shopping trips, or not being able to stretch out and play. But I will take your advice into consideration. Let's see, you said maybe I am not giving him enough attention- yeah, he looks like he is starved for affection. And you said maybe he is hungry-ok I guess he could use a few more rolls of chunk to add to his emaciated 85th percentile body weight. And I think you told me he could be crying because he is cold. Well, I guess his sweaty neck and palms are no true indicator of his body temperature. So since I am new at this, I guess it is time (at least according to two knowledgeable strangers) to get out the snow bibs and ear muffs; because I must have no idea what I am doing.
I know I am new at this, I know I do not have it all together nor am I a professional by any means. But I have learned a thing or two along the way that makes me somewhat fit to be a mother. But I wanted to take the time to thank you for all of your advice.
I thank you kind lady for reminding me how to dress my little boy for the weather. I know that since it has gotten slightly cooler in the last two weeks it must be time to pull out the parka and gloves. What was I thinking? Of course since it is now September and the temperatures are plummeting into the 70's I shouldn't be dressing Harrison in overalls and polo shirts as he might catch a cold.
And speaking of colds, thank you kind ma'am for your advice on about needing to be more swift to wipe up drool as this could cause horrible and unsightly chapping of his lips and chin, but by taking your finger (and who knows where it has been) and wiping his chin for me, well, don't you think a slobbery chin is much better than spreading germs? I really don't know you from Adam (or Eve in this case), so please tell me how it is ok to be putting your fingers on my baby's face? I'll take the drool over a shared cold, but thank you just the same. 
And as to your concerns kind sir in the condiment aisle. I am grocery shopping for two grown adults as well as a baby. All that stuff in my cart is not just for my baby. I do have a few things in there for him, but for the most part those grocery items are for the grown ups in the family. But thank you for reminding me just in case I forget that babies cannot have pickles, tomato sauce, or tortilla chips. But who knows, my mind could slip and I might find myself giving Harrison a bag of Cheetos while I finish my grocery shopping.
And I know how hard this face is to resist! He is one very smiley, happy, outgoing baby! But sometimes, and I hate to tell you this strangers, but he does get fussy. He tires of being out in public, or long grocery shopping trips, or not being able to stretch out and play. But I will take your advice into consideration. Let's see, you said maybe I am not giving him enough attention- yeah, he looks like he is starved for affection. And you said maybe he is hungry-ok I guess he could use a few more rolls of chunk to add to his emaciated 85th percentile body weight. And I think you told me he could be crying because he is cold. Well, I guess his sweaty neck and palms are no true indicator of his body temperature. So since I am new at this, I guess it is time (at least according to two knowledgeable strangers) to get out the snow bibs and ear muffs; because I must have no idea what I am doing.Well, thank you informative souls of whom I do not know your names. I have learned a great deal from you. I shall take all your advice and insight and mull it over. I do though have a sneaky suspicion that Harrison will turn out fine. I learn on the job, and who knows, I might just come out the other side with a happy, well adjusted, healthy little boy!
Sincerely,
A New Mom
Megan, I completely understand how you feel. There is much too much unsolicited advice lurking around in grocery stores and we have been given our fair share too! Sometimes I just want to hand them Audrey and say, "If you know better than let's see how well you get your shopping done with a busy baby!" Of course I always bite my tongue and politely steer clear of their isle.
ReplyDeleteYep.... totally:) But sometimes I wonder if they share just because they are looking for someone to chat with:)
ReplyDeleteI'd love to share what we use to "school"... I'm new... it would probably be easier to chat through email... fullovnrg (at) hotmail.com:)
This made me laugh Megan! I can't een imagine all the unsolicited advice people give about parenting, I get sick of all the unsolicited advice abotu marriage :) Ha. I think you are a great mom!
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