Carried

“And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexism?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case and set it on the floor.

Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
It's too heavy," I said.

"Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”- The Hiding Place

The world is more than my heart can take right now. More than ever it is clear it is not our home, but it is our battleground, our mission field, and where we're raising these precious boys to grow into men of God. In time they will become aware of the darkness literally surrounding us and my heart aches at the loss of their innocence. 

In time they will be strong enough to carry their own "suitcases". In time they will see the ugliness that is this world. But for now I'm opening their eyes to see the beauty God placed amidst the chaos and pain, the water and open skies, the tides and seasons, homemade cookies and being tucked in at night. 

For now, I'll teach them to see not how man sees, but how God sees. For now, I'm carrying the suitcase, because today my cowboys and army men need to run in innocence, and today is far from the day of them needing to carry such a weight as our world.